


College is Hard

by WhumpTown



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Big Brother Harley Keener, Harley Keener Needs a Hug, Harley Keener-centric, Hurt Harley Keener, Irondad, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Harley Keener's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhumpTown/pseuds/WhumpTown
Summary: Surrounded by super soldiers and genius Harley is constantly reminded how unbearably normal he is... it's all a bit too daunting.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 135





	College is Hard

He’s okay. After everything that Tony, that the team, does for him it would be ungrateful for him to be anything other than okay. So he swallows down two more ibuprofen for the headache that didn’t go away two ibuprofen ago. He’s got chemistry homework and an essay to complete. That’s hardly anything to the boy down the hall. Peter’s in all AP courses, he balances his geek squad and being a superhero. Who’s he to complain?

“So, did you sneak up here hoping no one would find you or did you know Friday would alert me to the roof access door opening in the middle of the night?” 

Harley doesn’t turn. He doesn’t even react.

Tony cracks the door open and shoves his hands in his pajama pants. He covers the distance to the edge, looking down over the parts of the city they can see. “How long have you been smoking pot or is it a self-deprecating thing that you just started?” He can smell it in the air but there is no proof of the drug occupying the same space as them.

Harley holds the cigarette between his fingers up, “pots gone, old man.” He flicks the remainder of the cigarette over the edge, his dark eyes watching the ember fall. “If you wanted some of that you should have come up about five minutes ago.” He sighs, tiredly and rubs his hands off on his pants. 

He turns to face Tony, leaning his taller body against the edge. He shoves his hand into his pocket, cold without the heat of a substance to fill his body. “Pot is not what you came up here for, anyway.” Tony will tell them about his youth, generally skipping the bits that entailed cocaine alcoholism. They know about that stuff anyway. He will tell them about smoking pot though, a clear indication of his feelings about the drug. 

Tony nods because he really doesn’t care about the pot. _Right now_ , at least. “I did not come up here for the pot or the cigarettes.” He tilts his head, shrugging, “not a fan of you smoking either but that’s a problem we can discuss later.” Tony crosses his arms, “what’s wrong kiddo?”

Harley is 23 years old. He’s a junior in college. Tony is the only person in the world who calls him kiddo, even now as he’s grown out of it. He smirks just thinking about it and no amount of his self-loathe kills the way that makes him feel. He doesn’t admit that though, never does. “Are you kidding?” He deflects because that’s easier, it’s safer. “I get to train with _the_ Natasha Romanov, we live with two super-soldiers, a freaking flying purple alien computer, a magician, and you keep it all rent-free for us.” He throws a hand up, “what could be wrong?”

Tony nods, pensively looking away from Harley to the city below. After a moment, he licks his dry lips. “My father-”

Harley jerks to attention, suddenly much more aware of what Tony’s saying. Tony never talks about his father. He’ll mention him, imply his existence but never speak about him. 

Tony’s eyes remain over the city. “My father used to say something similar to that, to me.” He clears his throat, rubbing a hand over his facial hair. “How could I be depressed or anxious when I had everything handed to me?” The phrasing makes Tony smile in a way Harley recognizes as self-deprecating. “College is hard, I know that. Hell, almost everyone here knows that.”

He sighs, moving his body back to look at Harley. He shakes his head, “that does not diminish how you feel. How you’re _allowed_ to feel.” Tony reaches out and puts a hand on Harley’s shoulder, squeezing the tense muscle under his hand. “Tell me, what’s wrong Harley? I want to know.” 

Harley looks into his eyes and denies it, “I’m okay, Tony. I pro-” He stops himself, he won’t promise something that isn’t true. He squares his shoulders in a way he hopes looks like ‘don’t push me on this’ but instead makes him look a scared child rearing up to an abusive adult. “I’m okay.”

Tony sighs but he nods. Message Received. “Harley?” He releases the boy’s shoulder, frowning at the floor as his defeat washes over him. “Will you tell me if it gets bad? If you need help?”

He’s not sure if he’s lying or not, “yeah.”

_Bad_

What is bad at this point?

Does he tell Tony about the panic attacks he has or does he tell Tony about failing a test? 

Does he tell Tony he can’t stomach a meal most days and he feels the pounds slipping between his fingers? His self-control going right with it. 

What about the cigarettes? Does he tell Tony that he goes to the roof every night to smoke? That it’s the only thing keeping him from unraveling because going to smoke at midnight every night is his only form of schedule he has. That he’s slowly losing his mind and he has no one to understand. 

Everyone around him is a superhero. _Super_ this. _Super_ that. He’s just a normal fucking guy. He can’t run very fast or far, his hand-to-hand combat training is a waste of time, and he’s slipping. 

Slipping away.

He’s nothing compared to them.

He’s averagely smart. Averagely tall. Average weight. There is nothing about him that is spectacularly different than any other college student. He’s special because he knows Tony and Peter Parker. He’s special because Tony crash-landed in his garage and because Tony’s daddy issues end up projecting on everyone around him.

He’s not special. 

Harley Keener is a nobody from Tennesse. 

“Kid?”

He’s been chain-smoking on the roof. His lungs definitely trashed but his hands won’t stop trembling. He did it. Finally, proven how inept he is, how ordinary he is. 

He’s unlovable.

“Kid!”

Tony finds him in his room. He reeks of cigarettes, hands trembling as he cards them through is hair. He can’t breathe. He can’t think. He’s panicking. He pulls at the blonde curls on his head, mouth open in his silent, trembling sobs. 

A hand touches his arm and Harley recoils violently. His father has been gone for over fifteen years but his cruel words and touches linger. Now, as Harley sits unconsolable he can feel his father’s hands landing blows on his chest. Squeezing the life from his throat. Killing him.

“Shh,” Tony rocks them back and forth. Rubbing Harley’s shoulder as best he can as the boy sobs. He runs his hands through Harley’s hair. “I’ve got you, buddy.” He feels useless as Harley cries so brokenly, his chest heaving and his body trembling. He can do nothing but hold the young man to his chest and hope. “I got you.”

Harley runs out of tears to cry. He lays limp in Tony’s arm, dejectedly looking to the wall farthest away. He’s a failure. A nobody. 

“Potato,” Tony says Harley’s old nickname tentatively. “You with me kiddo?” 

Harley recoils from the nicknames. Tony’s hand pauses in his hair. The older man had been gently smoothing the crazy hair down but now he’s not sure if he can even touch Harley. Harley’s not sure if he desperately needs Tony to just hold him for a moment or if he needs to go isolate himself on the roof. 

“I failed,” he whispers, tears spilling from his eyes. Tony’s hand resumes gently running through his hair and Harley shuts his eyes. Warm tears squeeze down his cheeks. His head is in Tony’s lap but he feels miles away. 

Tony considers what Harley has said, uncertain at first because he doesn’t understand. “Harley, you’re-you’re a brilliant kid. I’m sure-”

“I failed fucking my _engineering_ class, Tony.”

The room falls silent. Engineering. Tony had seen Harley’s schedule earlier that semester, knew the load the young man put on himself. A junior now… Tony’s kids are growing before his eyes. It’s… scary but… He remembers an argument they had about a year ago. Harley made a remark about engineering being force-fed to him. Indicating that, maybe, engineering wasn’t what he wanted.

Tony nods. “Okay.” Harley doesn’t want to be an engineer, he just wants to make Tony happy. “It’s not the end of the world-”

Harley pulls himself away, eyes bloodshot and face pinched in pain. He’s facing Tony, just a foot apart. “How is it not!” He trembles, sleep-deprived and panicked, he’s walking a thin wire. One Tony knows all too well. “I’m _supposed_ to be an engineer, Tony! It’s what you want! So, that I can be like Peter and _you_.” Harley pokes Tony’s chest with the last word, begging the genius to see the obvious logical Harley has. 

Except… he’s wrong. “Peter doesn’t want to be an engineer,” Tony says softly, cupping Harley’s cheek. “Bruce has turned him onto chemistry.” He leans forward, capturing his ward’s attention. “And _I_ want you to be whatever the hell you want, kid.” His thumb brushes over Harley’s scruffy cheek. “A-A chemist. A teacher. A doctor. A lawyer. Hell, a-a goddamn psychiatrist!” 

Tony wipes one of Harley’s stray tear with his thumb. He smiles at him, “I want you to be happy. You don’t have to be an engineer for me. Be an engineer for you. Or don’t be an engineer, it’s your life.” 

Harley cries softly, voice cracking, “but I-I… I don’t know what I want to do.” 

Tony smiles, “take a gap year. Use your associate’s degree. Get a job downtown. Learn who you are. Breathe.” He pulls Harley into his chest, “but no matter what, kiddo, I will always be proud of you.” He considers the sniffling coming from the face buried in his chest and he shakes his head. “MIT is pretentious as shit anyway. No one’s gonna dwell on one bad grade.”

Harley wipes his eyes. “It’ll ruin my GPA,” he whispers sadly. 

Tony rolls his eyes, “you’ll be fine.” 

\--------------------

“Run out of pot?” 

Harley turns around, the darkness eating most of his mentor’s silhouette but the man’s familiar baritone is unmistakable. Harley turns back around, shoving his hands in his pockets. He shakes his head, “nope.” He glances to his left as Tony walks up beside him. “Got rid of it.”

Tony raises his eyebrows. 

Harley rolls his eyes, “not because of you.” He shakes his head, “don’t let my pot-smoking go to your head, old man.” He kicks the dirt below his shoe, unable to contain his self-amused smile. “It was shit. Wasn’t even getting me buzzed.” He clears his throat, “Peter’s gonna hunt the guy down for me. Get some shit on my dealer so he starts giving me the good shit again.”

Tony’s look of horror is well worth the swat he’s about to get to the back of his head.

“I’m kidding,” Harley relents, throwing his hands up as Tony shakes his head. “I’m kidding, Tony. Promise.” Tony doesn’t look like he fully believes him so Harley contains his eyeroll. “Ask the kid, Tony. He doesn’t even know I smoke pot.”

Tony crosses his arms, “you’re such an awful child, you know that?” He faces the open air, still shaking his head at Harley. “He doesn’t know?”

Harley shrugs, avoiding Tony’s eyes. “Don’t want my shit habits rubbing off on him.” He looks up at Tony now, a small sad smile on his lips, “we’re damaged, you know? Self-destructive is textbook for us but… he’s better than that.”

Tony pulls Harley into a hug. Standing, Tony realizes just how much taller Harley is than him. _‘You’ll always be my baby’._ Tony rubs his back, “you’re better than that too, Harley. You deserve better too.”

Harley considers objecting. A cool breeze brushes by them and Harley hides his face in Tony’s shoulder, even if that means bending down a little. “I’ll do better, dad, I promise.”

Tears sting Tony’s eyes and he doesn’t bother to bat them away. He lets them fall freely, moving his hand to the back of Harley’s head. Without a shred of doubt, he believes Harley. “I know, kiddo. I know.”


End file.
